Kids these days.....

This past week was interesting. I went back to work after 12 weeks off for maternity leave. My husband is "underemployed" (his word) after 4 1/2 years with the same company. And for 4 nights in a row, we stayed up watching movies until after 1am. On Friday morning I said (grumpily), "We have to stop acting like we're in college." And then we did it again. And again. But we're turning over a new leaf tonight. I swear. Probably.

Perspective

We don't fit in our residence anymore. The result: stuff everywhere. It drives me nuts. I'm not a clean freak, but I like everything to be put away before I go to bed every night (something I fear I've inherited from my mother.) When you shove three people into a little 2 bedroom townhouse, you can't put everything away every night. There is no 'away.' I have varying degrees of frustration with this.

On a related note, it seems that after being married to him for over 2 years, I have only recently discovered that my husband hates his socks. I mean, he wears them and all, but at some point in the evening, no matter where he is, he will decide he just can't take it anymore, remove his socks, and throw them in the floor. Somehow I missed this for over two years, but I am now happening upon his socks in all kinds of places. A little annoying some days, but really we just laugh at how oblivious I was to this habit.

So this morning I was lamenting on our incredibly over-stuffed and messy house. Then I went upstairs and saw my husbands socks. And I thought, "There may come a day when I wish those socks were being discarded all over the house still." And then I thought that one day I (or my husband and I) may live somewhere else, someplace where we have room to put everything away. And our house stays nice and neat. And it's boring and quiet.

And I decided, it's not so bad being messy.

3 months later

I am totally obsessed with this picture today. Even while I was feeding Liam this afternoon, holding the real deal in my arms, I couldn't stop looking at this picture. He was SO tiny! Sometimes it's hard for me to see this tiny baby in the little 3 month old I hold in my arms.

The postpartum period was really hard for me. Even as I was going through it, I had such conflicted feelings. I wanted it to be over so badly; I wanted him to be a little older and for our life to have some sense of normalcy again. But even as I had those thoughts, I had enormous waves of guilt at wishing his little life away. I knew there would come a day where I would want him to be teeny tiny again, and I could never get it back. The hormones of a woman who has just given birth are murder on her thoughts and emotions.

Nerd Alert

I am a nerd. It took me many years to come to terms with this. My husband was instrumental in identifying it, and helping me celebrate it. I now say it with pride: I AM A NERD!!!!

Some nerdy things about me:

I watch reruns of The X Files and Star Trek: The Next Generation

I LOVE LOVE LOVE doing our household budget and paying our bills

To a lesser extent, I enjoy doing our taxes (I get a little intimidated sometimes, but I do feel a rush when I finish them.)

Our bank account HAS TO be balanced to the penny; I have deposited loose coins before to make sure it is

I love learning how things are made; I will watch any show that explains how something is made, be it money or bacon

The first time my husband (then boyfriend) and I went on a road trip together, I marked the times down on the map when we passed the exits


These are just a few examples of how I know I'm a nerd. I'm sure in the next year I'll think of more :)

One-Handed

As I type this, I hold my sleeping son in one arm. In the past three months, since Liam was born, I have learned to do many things while holding a baby. For about the first 8 weeks he wanted to be held at ALL times. It was such a relief every day when my husband would walk through the door, and I knew I could go pee without having to hear Liam's screams. But for about the past 4 weeks or so, we have made major progress: he sleeps at night in his crib (instead of on me), he takes most naps in his crib (unless we just want to hold him), and he has serious board meetings in his bouncy seat with the turtle, the frog, and the snail. The frog gets a little mouthy sometimes, but otherwise he has a good time. These little bits of independence are only the beginning, I know, which is why I choose to hold him now as he sleeps.......

Happy New Year?

I had the idea the other day that it would be cool to blog every day for the whole year. Yeah, way to come up with that one a whole month late. I have a friend who has decided to do a different art project every week for a year, and that sort of inspired me. I've also been trying to convince my husband to blog, and I think I convinced myself a little in the process! So, I'm just going to pretend that the year starts on February 1st.

Happy New Year!!!

I can't promise that I'll write a lot every day, and I honestly can't promise that I'll even write every day, but the goal is this: get something up on this blog every day. I think it will be good for me. It's good to get your thoughts out; it helps organize them. It will also help me become a better writer if I write more. And last but not least, it might be fun to have a record of this year; I feel like God is going to do big things in this family.

So, let's see what happens, shall we?

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes.....

I had a dream last night that my husband and I a baby boy, and we were giving him a bath. He was a chubby little thing, blue-eyed and light-haired, and I loved him so much. I can still feel how much I loved him in my dreams as I sit and type this at 5:40 at night. One of the coolest things about the dream, though, was how awesome it felt to be taking care of this baby WITH my husband. I think that part warmed my heart as much as the actual baby!! The first words out of my mouth this morning to my husband were "I dreamed we had a baby and we were giving him a bath." A few hours later, when I woke up for real, we talked about it in detail, and decided we are both really looking forward to being parents together. We make such a great team in all areas of life; we're looking forward to adding parenting to the list.