Half Birthday

I've been meaning to post this for a while, but I've been busy.

Liam turned 6 months old last week. 6 months!! I remember reading a devotional book for new moms that was for the first 6 weeks of motherhood, and I when I started it I couldn't fathom making it that far.

6 months. So much has changed.

We went to stay with my husband's parents for a few days last weekend. We hadn't been there since Christmas, when Liam was a mere 7 weeks old. I felt like a broken record. All I could think about (and talk about) was how much had changed since the last time we were there!! At that point we were still co-sleeping, and he wouldn't tolerate being put down. Ever. We took turns holding him while we ate dinner. Will opened all of my Christmas presents for me so I could hold Liam. I slept on the couch in the living room, and Will slept on the floor next to me. We still did middle of the night feedings. We were exhausted.

This time around, Liam went to bed around 7pm and woke up around 7 am. He napped really well, and enjoyed spending time in his ExerSaucer while we ate (except of course at dinner, when he was fast asleep.) Will and I slept in a real bed.

6 months. We made it to 6 months.

I walked past a display of Tommee Tippee bottles the other day, and I teared up (for the record, it doesn't take much to make me cry now that I'm a mom.) We used a Tommee Tippee bottle very early in the game with Liam, and seeing those bottles took me back to that time. I didn't tear up because I was sad that my baby has grown so much. I teared up because I am so relieved not to be in that newborn stage any more. It was the hardest time period of my life. I have loved Liam from the start, but I was miserable in the beginning. So miserable that walking past a display of bottles makes me want to cry tears of joy and relief.

Enough feelings. How about some pictures?

Here's a little segment I like to call "Then & Now."
Enjoy.

Here we go!

I finally gave in and decided to count points again. Weight Watchers points, that is. Will and I did Weight Watchers a few years ago, and were very successful. But things happen, and I'm back to a good starting point for losing weight (how's that for a positive outlook? :) ) I've been wanting to lose weight for a while now, even since before I got pregnant (obviously I did NOT want to lose weight while I was pregnant; Liam's health and growth was foremost in my mind.) Every time I would say something to Will about wanting to lose weight, he would suggest we count points again. We still had all the materials, we knew the system, and we knew it worked. To him it was a no-brainer.

But I always resisted. Teeth-gritted, white knuckled resistance. I didn't want to. Sometimes I would try and blame gluten ("We've never done Weight Watchers gluten-free. We don't know how. It will be too hard.). The heart of the matter, however, was simple:

I didn't want to deny myself what I wanted.

And it turns out that this is more than a food issue. The symptom may be overeating, but the root goes much deeper. It's a spiritual issue (and to some extent, and emotional issue. But that's another topic for another post :) .)

I've been reading a wonderful book on the subject called "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst. I'm only starting it, but so far I am impressed with her candor, and insight. Right before I got pregnant I started reading "The Weigh-Down Diet" by Gwen Shamblin. It also helped me to see my over eating for what it was: idolatry.

What!? I don't have a golden 3 Musketeers statue in my bedroom that I bow down to!!

But that doesn't' mean I'm not guilty of idolatry. One of Webster's definitions of idolatry is "immoderate attachment or devotion to something." One doesn't reach the weight I'm at by practicing moderation.

But in a way, I think it's a good thing that I gain weight when I overeat. There are some people whose bodies let them eat as much as they want without showing any change on the outside. If I were one of those people, it would be easy to hide and ignore my sin. But God wants me to be free of my sin, so He helps me by showing my sin on a daily basis.

So, off we go again, down the road of healthy eating. I can't promise that I'll never complain, or that I'll never mess up. But God is good, and He'll pick me up when I fall.